Recently I have been looking through my archieves and have noticed that one of my first posts is also one of my most viewed posts: My Dating Story: How to find a husband, a husband worth keeping… Or at Least How I Landed Mine outlines the steps I took that helped me find my husband, how I navigated the dating process and subsequently got married.
I divided my own journey of finding a husband into 6 general steps that someone else could easily replicate. The traffic this posts receives shows me that there are a lot of people out there looking to understand how to find a spouse and how to get married.
Of course, this is not a one size fits all matter, everyone has a different experience, everyone has something that worked for them.
I’m interested in hearing your story! How did you find your spouse? Could you take your own experiences and group them into generalized steps that someone else could easily follow?
Share your tips or steps in the comments below or if you’re a fellow blogger write a post about it and include a link to it in the comments.
I’m a self proclaimed recipe maven, wine enthusiast and above all a loving wife. To learn more about me please visit my about page or, follow me on twitter. If you have a question, comment or suggestions feel free to contact me. Thanks for stopping by.
{ 1 trackback }
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, I gave up on meeting a good man. Then I went to a happy hour. There was a guy I didn’t know. We talked a bit. He asked me out. I said no. He asked me out again. I said no. Then I asked him out. He said yes. Now he’s my husband. That’s the super short version. The long version is a tome.
Alisa Bowman´s last blog ..It’s Not Him, It’s You
Twitter: Mrs_Shannon_O
May 12, 2010 at 6:34 AM
I love it Alisa – thanks for sharing!
You CAN find nice guys at a bar. Make that a family pizza joint/bar. My best friend kept saying “you should totally hook up with Mr. Right, you guys would love each other,” to which I replied: “he has KIDS. Can you imagine me raising kids??”
Going on 8 years raising those kids now and more in love now than ever.
Twitter: Mrs_Shannon_O
May 12, 2010 at 6:37 AM
Melissa,
I guess that goes to show that stepping outside of our comfort zones can end up being a very rewarding experience.
The way that I came upon my husband, was completely by chance.
I was living the life of a single party girl, in the downtown of a large pacific northwest city. One morning, I’d say 5am or so, after having at least 40 oz of cheap beer, my friend and I drove to taco bell, very illegaly and dangerously, and there, standing like a dream, on the other side of the drive thru window, was my soon to be husband.
I’m not the type of girl that hits on guys. I never have been. I can flirt through an online chat, wait patiently for a very obvious sign, but for the most part I keep it to myself, while maybe showing it all through my puppy dog eyes.
This time though- I went for it. The slurred words “you’re pretty cute”, somehow grabbed his attention, and when forcing my phone number upon him, I had wrapped my lasso around his indie rocker neck, and within a week we’d be going on our first date.
Where things went from there are all a blur. Things happened very quickly, and here we are 6 years later about to have our 3rd child.
I don’t think there are steps to finding your spouse. I think it just happens.
Twitter: Mrs_Shannon_O
May 12, 2010 at 11:32 PM
Great points made here Tia!
For me and the place I was emotional in at that time, I think it was more about the steps that I needed to take – for myself, to get into the head space needed to truly be open to marriage… I believe that timing, chance, fate, luck, destiny (or whatever you want to call it) is also a huge part of falling in love.
Sometimes putting yourself out there with a few slurred words in a Taco Bell drive thru really is the first step in finding a husband.
Thanks for sharing your story Tia!
Twitter: girlhero
May 12, 2010 at 12:40 AM
I met my husband by “chance” too. We were next door neighbors one day and engaged nearly the next.
Jenn´s last blog ..Fast as a Slug.
Twitter: Mrs_Shannon_O
May 12, 2010 at 11:37 PM
Jenn! As you know, I am a big fan of your love story. Much like you, when people ask my husband and I how long we were together prior to getting engaged we say “About 5 minutes”, technically it was 4 months, but same difference.
I met my husband in high school when we were sophomores. It was love at first sight for him and definitely not for me. He asked me out 2 times in 8 months and I said no all 2 times until the 3rd time.
I truly wanted to find someone like my dad (his personality of course)… I love the way he thinks of others before himself and is very loving and amazing! My husband is very much like my Dad and now they’re like best friends… I love it!
steph anne´s last blog ..To Have a Spotless, Fresh, & Sparkling House Seems Impossible!
Twitter: Mrs_Shannon_O
May 12, 2010 at 11:38 PM
Aww… highschool sweethearts!
Twitter: girlluvnlife
May 12, 2010 at 9:55 AM
Oh boy…our story…it’s a long one!
The very short version is that both of us waited years to find the right person. During that time we didn’t date at all (about 4 years). I wrote love letters to my husband who I hadn’t met yet, and spent years praying for him. Around the time I started to pray for this mystery man, is around the same time he moved from Ukraine to Canada.
4 years later I moved from Nova Scotia to Ontario for a job position, and we both met in Ontario at the church we both still attend. He knew right away that I was the girl he would marry, and asked me out on a date. I said no…twice (I wasn’t dating after-all!) The third time he asked me, I said yes before I thought about it! Our first perfect date was July 1st, we got engaged on Valentines Day (the same day I wrote my first letter to my husband-to-be 4 years earlier) and got married 6 months later! We’ve been happily married 2 years, and I’m so happy I said “yes!” We call it our miracle
esther@purposepassionpurity´s last blog ..The Good Wife’s Guide
Twitter: Mrs_Shannon_O
May 12, 2010 at 11:58 PM
What an amazing journey Esther, thanks so much for sharing!
Twitter: EngagedMarriage
May 12, 2010 at 10:24 AM
Our story goes back to high school, middle school actually. When I was in 8th grade, Bethany (my wife) was in 7th grade and “going out” with my best friend. Try as I might, I couldn’t get her to notice me.
Fast forward to high school when she (luckily) got booted from Driver’s Ed because she was too young to be enrolled. The fates aligned and she was placed in my P.E. class. The intense flirting ensued over the next several weeks.
I finally got up the nerve to ask her out and she said no. Well, if you ask her she didn’t know I was actually asking, but I still think it was a “no” response. Luckily, her friend had the hots for my best friend (a different one than back in middle school) and she convinced her to go on a double date.
That was almost 15 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since!
Dustin | Engaged Marriage´s last blog ..The REAL Family Emergency
Twitter: Mrs_Shannon_O
May 13, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Amazing Dustin, 15 years is such an accomplishment!
Twitter: mrs_levine
May 13, 2010 at 12:59 AM
I think about this a lot since a few of my good girlfriends aren’t married and continue to search. In fact, my husband and I were just talking about it over the weekend. I think it has very little to do with the people you meet and a whole lot to do with your own emotional makeup.
Some people carry around family baggage that makes them more conducive to finding someone to love and settling down while others carry family baggage that causes them to fight against the commitments and compromise that is marriage. Some people always look for red flags. I always looked for green flags. Some people deep down believe they are not lovable. I believed that I was.
It’s so unromantic a view on dating, but I really think it’s the truth. If you’re constantly looking and not finding, you have to turn inward and learn to love yourself more. When you truly love yourself then others love you, want to be with you, and are drawn to you. Or you get lucky and were raised with a set of traits that makes you a settler rather than a wanderer.
Okay, okay, enough of that. If you want to hear the way less cynical, way more romantic version, you can read the first part of my love story, Part One: A London-bound Girl. It was almost love at first sight for two star-crossed settlers.
Mrs. Levine´s last blog .."Cooling down [after an arguement] is good but I just don’t like the distance it puts. Sleeping…"
I really don’t think my steps are quite as helpful…but I put them out there anyway! –> http://wp.me/psXcj-1n9
stu@themarryblogger´s last blog ..How To Find A Wife – The Marry Blogger Way
my husband and i met through a mutual friend and the very first time we met was in our company’s cafeteria. i was their interviewing for a job at the company and needless to say, i got the job. 5 years later and we’ve happily been married for exactly one year!
Too funny
He found me in a sense. He used to come in where I worked all the time. One day he asked me out…
http://tickledred.wordpress.com/2009/11/22/the-surfer-and-how-we-met/
and that is all she wrote.
It was Kismet
Tickled Red´s last blog ..Brunch by the Beach.
Rob and I met at work in 2006. We quickly became friends but were dating other people at the time. Life circumstances shifted for me professionally so we stopped working together. About a year of running into each other, seeing each other socially and being single we started dating. In October 2009, he asked and I said “Yes!” We moved in together and have been getting used to living together and enjoying our new home. Our wedding date is 10/23/10!