I love to be a hostess, having company, throwing a dinner party… that’s my ideal Saturday night. I love the preparation with my husband, getting the house ready, preparing the food and sharing an evening together with friends and or family.
Lately we’ve been extremely social, every weekend someone’s coming for dinner. This has caused me to reflect on something. Our house is generally clean, we’re both busy working full time but there’s just two of us, so keeping house is not a huge feat… just an ongoing process, BUT when company’s coming there a whole other level of “clean and tidy”.
The throw blanket in the living room has to be folded just so, there must be a hand towel in the bathroom (which is not necessarily an everyday thing in our house) the throw pillows on our king sized bed need to be arranged with great consideration and most importantly the dining room table must be free of my husband’s laptop (he’s a national manager, who when he’s home, works from home).
This past weekend, this struck a chord with me… why are the expectations raised when “company’s coming”?
In fact, once I began to ponder the topic it started to bother me. Why are my standards for someone else higher than the standards I have for my everyday life? Don’t I deserve to have everything “just so”? Aren’t I worth it?
Maybe it has something to do with the way I was raised? My mother was mostly a stay at home Mom, she created a “clean enough” home but was lax about such things… Given the choice, she would always opt to spend a Friday night snuggled up with my Dad and a glass of wine watching a movie than doing the 4 loads of laundry waiting simply because they “could be” done… then when company was company it was always mad dash around the house to get everything in order.
I would like to think I’m somewhere in the middle, never more than a load away from being caught up on the laundry, but not exactly a Stepford wife who lives everyday life as though company’s coming either. In my own ideal world, of course everyday my house would be “just so” and we would live like company’s coming at any moment.
I have to ask myself then, why not? Do I believe I am not worthy of living in a “perfect” home. Perhaps it’s a question of everyday priorities, and just maybe some Friday’s I WOULD rather watch the movie with my hubby than dust the dining room furniture for the third time that week (I live in a never ending battle with cat hair). As my husband always (tries) to remind me “life is a balance”.
I will say, I love the way our home looks when “company’s coming” that kind of satisfaction provides me with mental balance and I know I deserve that. Oh, to do it all…
What about you, do you live like company’s coming? Is that your housekeeping goal?
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: monkeetrouble7
July 6, 2010 at 11:03 AM
I say for the most part my husband and I keep our house fairly clean but when we have company it is goes to a completely different level of clean. The white glove test happens when company is coming over. The whole house needs to be clean even if no one will be going beyond the first floor.
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July 6, 2010 at 11:29 AM
I need to live like company’s coming. But I’ve gotten to the point where it doesn’t matter. If you come to see me, please see me, not the mess. I don’t do a whole lot of clean up for “every day guests”. However, if someone “important” (like the fire chief, or our parents who live far away) is coming, we go to a whole new level. I want to get closer to a balance, but right now the house is almost always a disaster.
LaDonna´s last blog ..O Canada
We keep a pretty tidy house, but when company’s coming I do scurry around and make it “just right”. With two young kids and a hubby who loves to do home projects, I would make myself crazy trying to keep it perfect at all times. However, I do love the sense of control and peace that come with a clean home.
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Twitter: girlluvnlife
July 6, 2010 at 10:42 PM
We keep a pretty clean house as well, but it’s pretty easy to keep clean (open space, bamboo floors, no pets, not much clutter). I don’t have to do much to make the house look great. But I agree with all of you that when company is coming (like tonight!) I am totally like you Shannon…the throw blanket has to folded “just so” and no dishes in the sink, bathroom clean, newspapers off the table etc. I’m probably more apt to organize things so the house looks great than to actually clean the nitty gritty every day.
And I totally would rather cuddle with my hubby than be cleaning!
Great article Shannon:) I love your perspectives…they always feel so much like my own that I always relate to what you say!
Esther´s last blog ..The Good Wife’s Guide
I’m the same way about cleaning & tidying to another level right before we have company. Perfect example was last weekend, I spent all morning & afternoon cleaning, doing laundry, scrubbing the floors, and corners before we had friends over. I guess I learned this from my parents because they’re the same way. My parents live 5 miles away and thank god they call us before they come over….and we STILL do a quick-clean up before they come over. It actually does get my husband on a roll to clean….maybe next time I should lie and say my parnets are coming over just to get him to clean.
steph anne´s last blog ..A Yummy MEAN Mud Pie Is in Order-
I grew up with a mom that quit work and stayed home while she raised me, my brother and sister. Mom always tried to keep the house spotless. She would stay up late at night if necessary. It would bother her that things were not put away in their place (everything had a place), and she couldn’t sleep till she knew it was done. Sometimes things would get a little messy, but not for long.
It will bother Anna (my wife) if the house is a mess too so we both work hard to keep it clean. We also both work, have a daughter, and need to spend time together as a family, and with each other. As much as a proper house is important, it doesn’t override that. So often when we are having company, we are rushing around picking up items, a quick vacuum etc. With the summer here and the fact we have a pool, the number of visitors increases exponentially.
I love a clean house and everything in it’s place, but for us that needs to be prioritized with everything else.
-mike
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July 8, 2010 at 12:32 PM
I don’t live like there is company coming but generally my house doesn’t look that great when company is coming either. I do my best to make sure the toilet is clean
but I want people to know the real me and the real me is not super tidy. I’m moderately organized so there is always (company or not) a moderate about of mess. 
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August 10, 2010 at 1:12 PM
I keep my house as clean as I can with two toddlers, but yes, when company is coming, I always seem to notice dirt on the walls, fingerprints everywhere, spots on the carpet. Thats why I like having people over at least once a week, so I am motivated to clean for them and for me!
I would say that my level of “company cleaning” depends on who is coming over. I’m not as worried about it with close friends. In fact, one of my friends came over last week and said, “Oh, I’m so glad to finally see dirty dishes on your counter. You always have things so clean and I don’t.” Perhaps we just need to get over our perception that people are going to judge us because we have a few misplaced items… Some people probably will, but are they really the ones who’s opinion we care about? Well, maybe the in-laws… haha